Monday, 10 February 2014

you just don't matter much...?



Tags: triple bypass brain management
         psychotic wooden flower meadow
         fag butt interior
         constructivist imagination audit

[lower case]

what was he thinking? that whatever he had to say about anything actually mattered to anyone?

he was crazy

certified beyond the pale horizon...where a trillion-plus digital manifestations of other people's thoughts dissolved into mist...

zoom in > still nothing...

comments: 'I love it!'
                 'That's great!'
                 'I don't comment. I just look.'

he had to amuse himself somehow...otherwise...he could read, watch TV, watch a film, go for a walk...

he sometimes looked at the lit windows of other houses at night, wondering what people were doing in there. some nights he could see inside. twilight was the best time for snooping, when people had turned on the light but not bothered to draw the curtains yet...
...look at the rooms, the various chosen styles of d├ęcor...
...classical, that's nice, a deep green wallpaper on which small paintings hang...and all those books...
...a bare light bulb - terrible! their cold bright yellow lives, clearly illuminated, ugly, obese sofas & nicotine-stained walls...
...Ikea interior flickering in the light from a huge flat screen TV, the corner of which is visible from the street, as are the legs of a couple on their sofa...

a long time ago before the age of the computer he remembered that so many voices couldn't be heard...only those on TV, down the pub...friends...and so many photos of strangers couldn't be seen...and all the semi-literate could not prove themselves to be so...and all the music could only be heard on the radio or record player...
...he looks back at those times now as if watching old film on TV...grainy black & white representations of somebody's reality in colour...

...it matters, what you do! does it? so easy to disappear. but also seemingly impossible! ah, the urge to scratch you name on the bark of a tree in the endless forest...

...silence...

...

...is everyone's voice being heard and being lost? the illusion: you are being heard. the reality: perhaps, by a few...
...what do you want, an audience of millions hanging onto your every word?! no, no, no...

HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA! [laughs like a maniac - disappears.....................]


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