Friday, 10 August 2012

Heatwave Lethargy & Cycling Hazards

The Olympics combined with stifling heat has created a dilemma which I'm incapable of resolving thus leading to total inertia - seeing all those active types rowing, swimming, running (as athletes tend to do) may inspire thoughts that I could be fitter, yet this heat seeps into my bones, rendering physical activity other than typing (even that's an effort) seemingly impossible. I'll be glad when the games are over and the idiot box is filled with, well, idiots, doing nothing but talking, and cooking, sometimes together.

I do cycle to Work, though, and find myself running a commentary in my head as I race to beat the lights along the lines of 'He's only got two metres left, come on YOU CAN DO IT!' as I morph into Bradley 'The Mod' Wiggins. Cycling in London is hazardous, of course, mainly because of kamikaze novices on 'Boris Bikes'  (notice cartoon man cycling in a turban on the site, which is the definition of cultural idealism because I've never seen one before or since the bike hire scheme) hell-bent on Barclay's sponsored suicide. Oh, that and Stanley Baker  types in lorries threatening to crush us puny cyclists under their wheels, but then, many cyclists are idiotic enough to put themselves in mortal danger by getting on the blind side of big vehicles turning left. As for couriers, well, driven as they are to bag cash for the current job and move on to the next they constitute the double negative of cutting up everyone, including pedestrians, and giving us all a bad name.

Meanwhile, back in '68, here's Anthony May on his Raleigh freewheeling through the streets of London to the sound of Englebert Humperdinck's silky vocals, apparently without a care in the world, although as a conscientious cyclist I have to say he does act irresponsibly cycling down those steps and nearly hitting a woman. But hey, it was the fab 60s, and young folk did such things in the spirit of the times, did they not? As opposed to cash-fuelled desperation or pig ignorance. The actual cycling starts around the 3.20 mark, by the way.

Now please excuse me whilst I get back to what I do best right now, which is lolling around, eating chocolate, and perhaps, if I feel really active, lifting a book and actually turning the pages...

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