Wednesday, 8 February 2012

Cell-Sharing With A Take That Fan etc

So you're stuck in a cell with a Snow Patrol fan - imagine it! Can you, though? Imagine, that is, what he or she would be like, as a person, you know, a real flesh'n'blood human bean as opposed to just one of a collective called 'Snow Patrol Fans'.

The sign on the left popped up on my Facebook page the other day and got me thinking about types, you know, 'types' we think of when it comes to genres. I don't even know if Snow Patrol are part of a genre. My only memory of them is thinking they were awful/dull/useless when I happened across a track. So, curious, I go to a Snow Patrol forum (yes, there is such a thing, which causes me to wonder why there's no Piero Umiliani forum, which is a rhetorical piece of wondering because I know why - it would only have fifteen members). Yes, so, the notice suggests that to be stuck in a cell with a lover of a genre you hate would be hell. In the name of research (which is usually a four-letter word to me) I looked at what Snow Patrol fans listen to apart from their fave band. Oasis...Ben Kweller (?)...Coldplay...Travis...right. As I always say when I'm feeling generous and kind-hearted, good luck to 'em.

Well perhaps you're in the Country & Western wing...and you don't know what you'll get there...stereotypical rednecks? Or Alternative Country types quivering in their imported workman's jeans whilst the redneck tugs at the beard which took them two years to grow, saying 'Looky here, boys, we got us a fine young thing' - and yes, the next line might be 'Squeal like a pig!'. But hey, I'm not stereotyping C&W fans. Besides, the music of choice for the assailant would be Cajun, surely.

You can only imagine via the misguided powers of prejudice and stereotyping what a fan of any genre will be like, can't you? How about the Jazz wing? Full of middle-aged and upwards intellectuals? I foresee a riot there, 'cause I know a bit about Jazz Fans, which as someone pointed out the other day is a meaningless category anyway. There's a riot going on in Cell Block 9 between gangs called the Live Evils and the Heebie Jeebies. Very messy. In fact, the Milestones are also trying to kick the hell out of the Live Evils. Meanwhile, you're having a good chat with Goth about Jacques Tourneur.  You see, you just never know, not by the music they love. Although, yes, if you're stuck with a Take That fan you're probably in trouble. But there I go, assuming that a fondness for said boy (now men) band equates with cultural inadequacy in all other departments, therefore no chance of talking about JG Ballard or Claude Chabrol. And I say 'inadequacy' like the snob that I am. Or can be.

So I found this survey from 2008. Ain't it funny? Well, do you fit the bill? Are you creative, outgoing, at ease and holding yourself in high esteem? Having met a lot of folk who like Jazz I don't recall one that was 'creative'. Although, they did regard themselves in high esteem having just bagged a rare Lee Morgan album back when there was such a thing - you know, before we could all download everything by everyone, which in turn will land us in jail with a Coldplay fan unless they really do sort us all out into genres. Indie fans 'not gentle'? This contradicts my experience. I've found them to be very gentle souls, much given to weeping at the dropping of a needle onto a Smiths record. But then, what is Indie today? I've no idea, not having willingly listened to anything remotely Indie since...I can't recall.

I presume 'Dance' covers all common forms of electronic music. I know that the few times I've checked 'Electronic' as a category on listening sites I've only been able to find Underworld, The Chemical Brothers etc.
They're 'not gentle' either, apparently. So much for all those Es. As with all such polls, it doesn't cater for the eclectic music-lover. How can it? 'Eclectic: gentle, creative, not gentle, introverted, outgoing etc'.

Anyways, I'll see you in prison. And because you're reading this, I just know we'll get along well. Won't we?


1 comment:

  1. Ooh, forgot there was a new Ben Kweller LP out. Ta for the reminder...


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