Sunday, 11 September 2011

Blogging Advice – Five Essential Bogging Tips

Everyone who blogs has read tips about this and that, from the technical stuff to style, and how to get more traffic, of course. Here are five tips from me.

1. Get your spelling right, especially in post titles.

2. Try to say what you want to say as concisely as possible, although this is not a rule, it could help, no, it definitely will help, I’m sure it will help because, well, just because...I think it’ll help to minimise the time you demand of a reader because, you know, they don’t want to spend more than five (is that optimistic?) minutes reading your post, so you should be clear and concise as best you know how, without drifting off or wandering into the realms of what sounds like you talking to yourself rather than addressing the reader, with whom you wish to develop a healthy relationship, not one of a barking lunatic, or mentally ill person ranting from a soapbox, or mumbling to himself in a bar and waffling, don’t waffle, or you may waffle yourself into a corner from which the only means of escape is to simply hit the full-stop key, like this.

3. Blog about your hair. Take a photo of it every day, post the photo, with text about when you combed or brushed it, whether you’re thinking of colouring it, or having it cut, how it shaped up that morning (because your hair does shape up differently almost every day, doesn’t it?), how much it’s receding etc. Call it ‘Hairsay’. Now, if that’s not a brilliant idea, I don’t know what is.

4. Stop blogging. Do something useful, something more ambitious, like write that novel, or paint that wall that needs doing. Be really ambitious and paint the ceiling. That’s a bastard of a job, but when you’ve done it the sense of achievement will be far greater than what you feel when you’ve just written more of your blog which, be honest, is only read by your mates...and a few stray surfers who only landed on your site because they wanted that photo of Brigitte Bardot you posted, which they’ll copy without bothering to read anything else you’ve written. You’re wasting your time.

5. There isn’t a fifth one. I’ve given up.

1 comment:

  1. Nicely done! 4 is so right on.


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