'Always ask any questions that are to be asked and never answer any. Turn everything you hear to your own advantage. Always carry a repair outfit. Take left turns as much as possible. Never apply your front brake first.'
'These are interesting rules,' I said dryly.
'If you follow them,' said the Sergeant, 'you will save your soul and you will never get a fall on a slippy road.'
The Third Policeman, Flann O'Brien