Searching For The Perfect Beat

'Play All' in shuffle mode and 'delete', 'delete', delete' all the beatless/rhythmless tracks - not because I use the portable player for jogging, mind, although I'm sure that strange breed who insist on running through the city streets need those beats to maintain energy levels...

...remember pictures in the press of celebrities jogging with their Walkmans? Usually Madonna...as I recall in an imaginary sense...along with every other California-minded active type she must have been listening to any ol' crap with a beat, surely. Isn't that what they did and still do? Perhaps there are joggers in Birmingham (England) listening to Surgeon, I suggest as if Anthony Child has any credibility - sorry, he was the first to spring to mind and in the course of some quick clicking I found that he'd performed with Lady Starlight (I'm not making this up - I wish I was...I wish I'd never watched a whole 1.27secs of it) supporting Lady G*g*.

So I was tempted to look for a 'proper' Techno person who hadn't sold out and that would have been easy because the net's full of those who simply haven't had a fat cheque waved at them by a celeb but I didn't bother because this demonstrates something...guess what? What do you think? (it's a screengrab, I won't soil these pages with the actual footage)...

...'Constant Shallowness Leads To Evil' is what it says on Tony's t-shirt and there he is, sticking it to the Gaga Army! Tell 'em Tony! No, that's right, you didn't sell out, you took the opportunity to subvert the mega-showbiz Pop Star process by playing them bangin' beats and wearing that t-shirt which, obviously, will subliminally convert the screaming hordes to deep music - yes it will!

I wish I'd had the chance to sell out when I was a DJ, but who would want a support set from someone playing UR, Coltrane and Lemon D? That's right, no-one. Perhaps if, like Tony, I went with my partner to actually see a Lady Gaga concert...

I didn't start this with a view to mentioning Surgeon...or 'her'...so I'll jog back on course by saying how bored I am with what I'll call 'ambient' music, for want of a better term and knowing that to start naming sub-Hauntological/Field/beatless stuff would take ages...and I couldn't do it. What I mean is that nearly every album I'm sent and loads of new stuff I see is ambient. "But there's loads that isn't, you twat!" you cry. That's right, it's just an impression...and what is life but a series of impressions we get from what we see? It isn't 'reality' (whatever that is), it's what constitutes our individual reality, made up of feelings, impressions, right or wrong. Ain't it? Is this philosofee? Surely not...

I get sent ambient albums because...er...because I don't mention too many genre-bound  sometimes mention 'listening' music which, you know, might be considered 'deep'...I suppose...or 'left-field'...or....'experimental'. Not just that; I keep seeing new albums containing sound that supposedly represents...er...you know, something other than music-to-jog-to, or dance to and that isn't always more interesting than good Techno, is it? 

Perhaps it January's fault. A stinking month which nobody likes. I need a boost. Don't we all? I mean either a boost of energy or mental stimulation derived from interesting sounds. Oh, that's subjective, I know. Like most listeners I'm lazy and guilty of quickly searching albums for something that will perk up my ears. Those 20-odd (not odd enough, usually) minute tracks-z-z-z-z-z remind me of what an artist once told me regarding lack of direction. He said: "If in doubt, go big". Go big! Well, he's right in one sense. There's nothing like a massive canvas to fool dumb viewers into thinking they're looking at a masterpiece. It's massive! It must be good! Perhaps some musicians make the same mistake having cranked out (sorry, meticulously toiled over) a 23-minute 'journey' consisting of pointillist micro-sonics on a nicely textured 'canvas' (sound of needle craving through dust and scratches on vinyl). It's an epic! 

They need to go back and listen to Pierre Henry again (assuming they already have) and try and learn something. 

Hold on...

No, I don't want to criticise the efforts of those who obviously(?) share my distaste for all that shallow Pop nonsense. I don't want to. I'm just letting off steam...because it's January...and as dark as the days soon get what I mean is I can't handle being put to sleep, not just yet, already feeling halfway there for most of the day.