Wednesday, 20 August 2014

Fake Review: Aphex Twin - SYRO

Since writing this yesterday I've heard that there are a few fakes around and the version I heard may well be one of them. My article is also a fake, obviously. Rumour has it that James himself created at least one fake. The world's press is in turmoil...

Extremely crap post-modern cover, Richard!

7 Genuine Comments

Great news!
Oh yeah!!!

i remember counting the bpm of digeridoo and marvelling at how fast it was

This is such good news, he was my highlight of glasto, playing in The Temple.

Got to be worth a listen this ! Welcome back from the coma........

How exciting! Some good news at last.

BOC. Burial, Jon Hopkins, Flylo, Four Tet....The master himself returns.

Richard D James used deep web browser Tor to announce SYRO, his first album since Drukqs in 2001. That's the de-e-e-p web, where common browsers like you and and rarely venture...because it's too....deep and inhabited by only the most radically tuned-in people, the type for whom Aphex twin may indeed be some kind of god, or even guru...pass the analogue bubblebath, matey, I'm going in!

Oh Time, what a cruel master you are. None of us can escape the force of your iron heel, despite the best efforts of those mad septuagenarian keep fit fanatics who still try to jog away from it. Even Aphex Twin, for whom one might assume Time is an insignificant concept which plagues only mere mortals, cannot deny the passing of 13 years since his last release.

Imagine my surprise when it's arrival was announced as the second item (after Iraq) on the BBC News last night! Or did I imagine that? No matter, since the world's media has duly reported the arrival of SYRO geeks fans have been hammering at the digital portal, virtually queueing 'round the block, willing to sleep there all night to be among the first to hear this electronic music event. 

By now many will have heard it. So what is it like? It's very much like electronica circa 1995, which, lest you think otherwise, ie, he hasn't progressed one bit, is obviously a conscious ploy to promote classicism over newfangled electronic noise. Bravo! Why pander to the notion that new, or the fashionably old, technology can stimulate artists to create new sounds? That, surely, is the sign of a fly-by-nighter desperately trying to sound contemporary. As for the new Noise, Richard James taught Russell Haswell everything he knows - he did!

Remember the refinement of drill'n'bass transformed into 'glitch' and made 'intelligent'? Of course you do! Although, it's said that if you remember raving to the sound of didgeridoos, you weren't there. I don't know. The last person I heard playing one is currently in hospital having it removed from his rectum. I feel bad about that now...

Richard James has said he has material for at least ten albums. Perhaps it's all been sitting there since 2011, or even 1995. That's irrelevant to the time lord. And his fans, probably.

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