Directors Cash In On David Lynch Single Idea

I heard David Lynch’s single ‘Good Day Today’ today and my day was not made good by hearing it. I’d heard about it, of course, but made no effort to track it down because I suspected it would be rubbish and my suspicion was correct. It’s techno-lite Pop in which Lynch’s treated vocal is raised a few octaves and his woosiness is made worse by the insistent plea for a good day today and, would you believe, his complaint that he’s ‘so tired of fear and so tired of the dark’ – huh! – this from the man who’s built a career on exploring the dark side of the human psyche and giving viewers nightmares. Now here he is making Cher’s disco dross sound like Merzbow. I like to think other directors will respond by making singles, like these:
   ‘Have A Bad Day Today’ – John Carpenter mumbles in a psychotic tone about killing people to his theme from ‘Assault On Precinct 13’.
   ‘I Wanna Be A Gangster Today’ - Scorsese teams up with Barry Adamson, lyrics sampled from ‘Goodfellas’, naturally.
   ‘Do You Feel Lucky Today, Punk?’ – you guessed it, Clint just recites that to a wah-wah-infested score by Lalo Schifrin.
   ‘I’m Not Going To The USA Today’ – Godard spits bile about the Oscars (in French) to lush music by Michel Legrand.
   ‘Today Is Just Another Day’ – Mike Nichols talks in a droll manner about ordinary lives of quiet desperation in NW1 to kitsch 70s-style library music by Johnny Trunk.
   ‘Today, No-One Will Hear You Scream’ – Ridley Scott describing the nausea and horror induced by carrying the Alien in your guts to pure noise by Kevin Drumm (surely a great advert/tie-in for the Alien prequel he’s making).
   ‘Burn A Christian Today’ – Robin Hardy croaks a pagan ritual chant to music by Demdike Stare.

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